A has never been a good sleeper. Let me clarify…he’s never been a good FALL asleep-er. Once he is actually completely asleep, he is solid. I can transfer him from the car seat or stroller to his crib and he will sleep for hours…but getting him there is a monumental feat most days. Gone are the days of simply putting him in the crib, and letting him fuss till he gives up and sleeps. Nowadays he will gladly let me put him in there…and then he will wait just long enough for me to sit down and get a taste of freedom before he hops out like a pole-vaulter and bursts out of his room with a shit eating grin on his face. He then proceeds to sprint around the house wildly in a celebratory victory lap bursting into fits of giggles.
Most days after 3 or 4 escape attempts, I can convince him to do “quiet time” which consists of him sitting in the crib with a selection of books and stuffed animals. He will “read” the books to his stuffed animals for about 15 minutes. Spend another 5 minutes throwing all books and stuffed animals out of his crib. Do a couple somersaults, then jump out of the crib and sprint through the house exclaiming “ALL DONE!” with a gigantic smile plastered across his face. While not ideal, this little ritual usually buys me enough time to scarf down some lunch, pee ‘all by myself’ and on rare occasions even sit down in silence for a minute or two.
I’ve learned to suffice on this sliver of personal time carved into my day, but some days he and I NEED more than that. Monday was one of those days. I was still recovering from my stint in the hospital with the worlds worst stomach flu, and A was (as usual) fighting off some sort of nasty cold. He was a snotty, cranky, tired little monster and he NEEDED sleep…as did I. After attempting to unsuccessfully rock him to sleep, I tried getting him to calmly rest in his room..fail. Then I attempted to convince him to snuggle up in mommy’s bed which usually is a hit, but alas another epic fail. Finally, I decided it was time to pull out the big guns…stroller walking.
Usually when A is over tired and refusing to sleep, yet clearly in desperate need of sleep, I’ll pop him in the stroller and he’s out cold within 2 blocks. So, a stroller walking we did go. I was still pretty weak from being sick and crossing my fingers that he would be out quickly because honestly, I wasn’t quite sure I would make it much farther than a block or two. I turned out of the alley and started up the street when I saw a black sedan at the end of the block parked in the middle of the road. I thought it looked strange, but continued walking towards it. (Because, well, I really wanted the little bugger to sleep and nothing else seemed to matter at that point.) As I got closer I realized in addition to the sedan, there were a crap ton of policemen and yellow police tape blocking the intersection off. I stood there for a minute internally debating between my insane curiosity to know WTF was going on, and my parental instincts to NOT push my baby stroller into an active crime scene.
Ultimately I turned around thinking hmmm…that’s strange, but better safe than sorry. Ok, full disclosure I REALLY wanted to know what was going on, and would totally have gone and seen what was happening if I wasn’t trying to get A to sleep – because, emergency vehicles are like THE BEST ENTERTAINMENT EVER to a 2-year-old, and if he had seen them all chances of a nap would have been over. So away I went. I walked another block and realized that the next street was blocked off too by the police. I went to the next block over…same thing. It was then that I realized the police helicopter spiraling around overhead, a little too close for comfort. Coming off the heels of the horrible San Bernardino shooting my first thought was bomb. (Have I mentioned I have a slightly disturbed and extremely overactive imagination?) Then I thought, eh, maybe it’s just Obama or Hillary in town yet again. They notoriously stay at the hotel up the street annoyingly blocking off all the roads around our apartment and causing an absolute traffic nightmare. Then I thought…the helicopter is a bit much and the overwhelming police presence is much more intense than usual…it’s usually men in black suits with earpieces failing miserably at pretending they are normal people…definitely not Obama…it’s got to be something legit.
So I googled. Nada. I called Micah and he said he hadn’t heard of anything. Then I did what anyone would do…I asked the people of Facebook (a most reliable news source). The book did not disappoint. There were in fact 2 armed robbers on the loose in my hood. Awesome.
The obvious (and sensible) course of action at this point would have been to go back to my safe apartment and stay there until the police weren’t raiding every house on my street in search of armed robbers. I did not do that. I proceeded to walk up to the barricade. I’m sure you are thinking I’m a moron, but in my defense, it was the only way to continue my stroller walk, the police officer manning the intersection looked bored at best, and there were many other people walking by, so I figured it can’t be that dangerous or the police officer would shoo them away and be acting more, well, alert and less like a bored, overweight crossing guard. As I walked up, I noticed the police were in full riot gear surrounding houses and searching for these guys like a real life episode of CSI. After seeing the search party, I put some pep in my step and hauled rear end to the closest busy street so that I would at least be around other people and be able hide in a nearby store (if need be). I wandered around trying to get my drowsy little cranky pants to sleep until my husband texted me that according to the news they caught the guy and all was clear.
With A FINALLY asleep (probably because I had decided to walk away from the deafening sound of the police helicopters buzzing overhead like hawks), I headed back to the house. As I rounded the corner to our block, A was promptly awoken. You see, Micah failed to realize that they had caught the FIRST guy…but there were two on the loose! So, as fate would have it, I waltzed up as the second guy was being apprehended. Swarms of armed police men running and yelling, police helicopter pretty much diving down towards us, and ambulances whizzing in – because apparently the police dog literally took a bite out of crime. So yeah. Thanks Beverly Hills Police Department for keeping us safe. Next time, could you do it a little quieter though… cause I really needed my son to sleep.
This would never happen if I lived in the suburbs.
Always an adventure…
Have you ever had a nap interrupted by random police activity? No…just me?